Friday, March 15, 2013

GRASS HOPPER AND A STAR




Once upon a time there lived a grasshopper. As always grass hopper was a freak guy. When other creatures became busy, GH switch himself to super cool mode! Taking a gitar and singing the song “challa ke labda phiree”.  GH got bored of usual motivational sms from his ant friend.  GH stopped poking ant in FB. Because ant was busy during rainy season with food management. And it shows ‘you can’t poke twice’
                                                       In a sleepless night
 GH was lying on a lawn and staring at sky and mumbling something. “This is boring and insane. Doing nothing is not what I meant. Doing nothing but feeling like doing nothing makes me mad!!”
Hearing this a star blinked at him. He felt like someone texted him ‘:P’ smiley. It was such a beautiful star. Not like other stars , it blinked frequently. GH found star in FB and gone through star’s pictures and that keeps up him night. He send a friend request and for his surprise star accepted it. GH was in cloud nine when star says ‘hi’ for first time. 
                                                                             GH came to knew that star is from medical field and obviously GH from engineering field. GH felt like Pluto, neglected from solar system ! but for the GH’s surprise star asked “ GH, I like the way you hopping and its really nice. I wish you were an ET/medical student, so that sooner or later I can see you in ma universe. Now tell me what makes you keep up at night?”
GH replied: “I know you are thinking like I can’t jump that high to reach next to you. But as a dreamy-engineering student I need to tell this- I got an immense confidence that, some day you fall for me!!”
                                                       Thus GH and cute star became friends!!
                                                            THE END

Dedicating to all engineers cum dreamy guys who wish to fly high believing sky is the limit !
Dedicating to all medicos cum responsible citizens who  wish to be in touch with techie GHs and want to do something  good for society!
Like our story??? like our page ;)

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

branding basics


CASE STUDY:

Nowadays I never miss a function. If I won’t attend I would have miss all these:

PROCEDURE:

1.       There you can see pakka branding.
2.       You just 22, sitting like a jerk in a community of aunties and uncles having an average age of 55 years.
3.       I used to hear success stories more than I read during these kind of gatherings , rather I call it as kitty parties ( where lot of unknown aunties gather together for discussing 100 % crap topics).
4.       100% includes placements! Irrespective of what branch he/she studied, if she/he got placed (even in a call centre) then that he/she is the star stud of the day.
5.       One aunty: “you know what? Kochu rani [fake name] got 95 % marks in engineering!! “
6.       My mom looked at me! Eeh nope…  starred!
7.       ‘come on mum, she is kidding. This is not SSLC board exam!’ I’m trying to convince her with ma eye expression.


8.       “ Also she got placed in Wipro, between, what your son doing nowadays?” the inevitable. My mum got caught at last.
9.       “eeh..he is going for a practice, you know training kinda thing” [what practice mom??  Dancing??]
10.   “ Are bayyaa??? No campus?!!”  That aunty was so excited like someone played ‘gangam style’ in that room.
11.I interrupted: “ya , we got a vast campus.  Aunty I’m not interested in software.”[between, who are you? I never see you anywhere in ma clan gatherings. Are you an exclusive product for this placement-crap-enquiry?]

RESULT:

                                                            Return journey to ma home is like black and white old mallu film… rain, thunder, BGM of sad song….i’m not dare to tell this ’mom, I’m working on something big. Till I prove I need to sit like a jerk in these kitty parties.’ Dad is not giving car steering, again a jerk sitting next to him as a co-driver. I’m totally sucked, screwed up and eeh… I’m not daring to use offensive words in ma blog till now!

OBSERVATION
                                                                                     Now this is what happened during that meeting. The unknown-placement aunty branded her daughter as a youth icon. Giving a message to common people that without placements you not gonna survive, like life without oxygen [LKG science]and I’m projected as a ground zero boy![hi readers, I’m speaking about myself!!]
 The kochu rani, sissy girl scored. I hardly know that girl, but that girl beaten me like nothing.
CONCLUSION:
                                Take it from me, this kinda kitty parties are our reference point.  If you people really want to brand something, don’t miss these kinda functions.
With regards,
Ground zero {as per unknown aunty evaluation}

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Sherlock Holmes: BLIND MULTI TASKER


time:08.58 am
venue:Electrical class room
purpose: project topic review

Sherlock Holmes: “Brilliant! So that was your secret project topic: INTELLIGENT ENERGY SYSTEM.
 So first you simulate it using MATLAB software and then proceed to hardware for final project! 
 Absolutely brilliant idea  for a project.”

Sherlock Holmes is not tensed about our project presentation which going to happen next.
Jasin A colleague was sitting next to us with half mouth opened!

SH continues: “so what made you keep awake today? You didn’t have your breakfast from home, why?
You used to stay awake, but what made you stay awake longer?  You didn’t take bath, and you slept hardly two or three hours?”  SH seems so keen about him.

 Jasin: “yes..eeh….” jasin couldn’t complete the sentence.

SH interrupted: “ aah… presentation of your project in front of faculty. So you had puri and bhaji today morning?”

Jasin:“yes .. You are right” jasin told it in cold voice.

SH: Ooh… You went to military canteen last week end? Between I send a mail using your laptop.

Jasin: Impossible! Its biometric password protected.

SH:Sorry , I send it last day. It was just password protected. Today only you made it biometric!

JASIN: I never know you hack me like this.

SH: You are a multitasking guy and how you missed it? yeah.. since you are a multi tasking guy, you give away your password like nothing?
Sherlock Holmes new movie paused downloading when it reaches 26 %. You used torrent right?”

Jasin: So you cracked my password. But how, is it Rahul Tyagi’s course material you used for the same??

SH: There is nothing technical here! Just observation!

I interrupted: Now its action time SH. It’s our turn . Presentation of our project topic

SH: I guess I don’t have any idea what you are talking about. But I’m confident that our faculty too doesn’t have any idea what so ever. So be confident in what you are telling, doesn’t matter whether it’s a Himalayan blunder or not. Presentation is for just 20 minute and we have enough time to impress them, but faculty doesn’t have enough time to prove we are wrong and even for a deep research. Come on man, lets rock!

AT CAFTERIA:
Me: EVERY TECHNOLOGY IS A BLUNDER WHEN IT’S INTRODUCED ! How you used that line in front of Aseem sir and Nigel sir!! You were telling blunders and you questioned them??? Awesome man!!

SH: told you right! I got dialogues. I’m not a techy guy like you and I’m not tensed too!!

Jasin:  coffee??

SH: Sure, black with 2 spoon sugar. What you expect in return?

Me: of course, explanation! we all are rational people :-0

SH: I’ll complete my dialogue in 15 seconds. Catch me if you can.
Watson.. Think! I went through his belongings when he is not in class room. IEEE spectrum magazine, EFY and MATLAB software cd. He didn’t mark anything to give a clue for his secret topic. But a wrinkled page shows how frequently he is turning those pages and I identified the topics in two magazines and as a techy guy he loves innovation. So it’s something that clubs wind energy from spectrum magazine and solar tech from electronics for you and matlab cd proves he is trying for a simulation!
                                                                   Now his presentation tension. Look at his droopy sleepy eyes. The way he folded his sleeves, tuck-in in style, uncombed hair, pant’s zip which not closed completely indicates- carelessness due to tension. His oily hand shows what he ate today morning.
                                                                              Now military canteen visit: look at his branded socks and belt which is not matching with his old costumes. He is not a man with brand taste, still he have something like this means- his father an ex military and all those things are available with cheaper rate from military canteen and all those seems new. It proves he went to canteen during last week end.
                                                      Why he is a multitasking guy?  Tester , 4 colour pen, 2 other pen, lot of papers in pocket, sticky note stains on laptop is more than enough to prove he is a multitasking guy and he definitely got lot of accounts to manage and he simply use numerical as passwords! 123456 that are how I cracked his password after several try…. Of course I admit several try! He changed to biometric password today, that’s why I’m forced to tell 26 % download status and due to this rush for presentation he probably forget to resume the download when he reaches home  last evening!
                                      So that is so called explanation of Sherlock holmes regarding BLIND MULTITASKER.
Jasin: I’m a perfect multitasking guy. I completed the download today morning itself. Here it is. Keep this cd with you. It’s worth watching!! Everything else was absolutely right!!!
                                                            On the way back SH seems extremely silent.


Me: that’s ok man… only downloading thing went wrong! Because he is damn smarter than you!

SH: how was our presentation?

Me: mine was fine, but your performance at cafeteria was extra ordinary! Absolutely extra ordinary!”

SH: Is it? But people used to tell, PISS OFF!!

Signing off,
Dr.watson
221B Baker St.
London

Friday, September 14, 2012

Sherlock holmes: a game of shadow messages

SHERLOCK HOLMES BEGINS!!

”She got bus to Thaliparamba at 5pm and she didn’t get a seat to occupy till Sreekandapuram. The bus was travelling through Chemperi hospital road. Not through other 4 routes to Sreekandapuram. She took a limited stop bus to kannur from Thaliparamba. And her mobile battery got exhausted when she approached closer to home. Her brother is there at home for leave.

Now please feed your BSNL secret no.in ma mobile. The same number you using to contact her which we don’t know!

Sherlock holmes ended his short speech with a smirking smile :>
It took hardly 30 second to complete this dialogue.



“What the hell.. You know each bit of information. Are you spying over her???

Watson was so much confused and asked him.

“You hardly know that girl and I don’t think you will try to find her details. Then how you know all these things with precision??”

“I just told the facts which I am forced to tell because of ma basic instincts!” Holmes smiled.

“I need explanation Mr. Holmes!!!” Watson was stern this time.

“Okay..this is it, there is no magic/spying in it. I just had gone through Mycroft's inbox               [ Holmes's friend]. Till 4.47 pm Elena, Mycroft's girl friend messaged him with long texts. And she sends ‘:-)’ smiley after 8 min means she got a bus at 5 pm. So that bus is none other than ’voyager travels’. Holmes told without any emotional variation on his face.

“Wow! That’s Fine.. That’s simple too! Though I didn’t think like that. How you know bus is crowded??” Watson continued with his doubts.

“See her smiley replies. She need to engage him through texting, but not properly as usual means, she is struggling to get a seat in bus."  Holmes is bit serious now.

“How you came to know??  Bus traveled through shortest distance? Since ‘Voyager travels’ used to travel through longest possible route to reach Sreekandapuram?[arural place in India]”

Holmes seems restless. “Its again her message. ‘Hey’ exactly after 20 minutes. During that evening time you won’t get a seat till you reach a main town. That’s Sreekandapuram,Kannur”

“Hey, you are right I think. That day there was a surprise bus strike. So maybe that’s why it changed the route.” Watson now feels bit convinced with Sherlock.

“Fine, now how you know she caught a limited stop bus???” Watson desperately need an explanation for that.

“Ya, TT don’t have stop anywhere near to her home. And the message ’ get u later’ shows the speed of her bus. A private bus won’t bring her home so fast! So it must be a limited bus” Holmes now showing bit more pride than before while he stating facts! He continued.

“The ‘ok’ message of our friend Mycroft is not delivered means her mobile battery is empty.

Her message ‘you there’ after a long time close to midnight means she is engaged with something else. Not television of course. A public holiday on Monday means it’s her bro home for leave.”

“Possibility of guests? cousins?” watson interrupted.

“She got a reserved character and introspective girl! She is not that social. And it’s a wild guess of mine, I admit. But that’s the only possibility!!” Holmes still with pride.

“Secret sim is your next question no?

Eehmm.. you know current service provider got a poor signal there. But those late night messages which were send frequently means she switched to some other connection. Since it’s a party village[where govt. privileges are more] , I believe BSNL will have the strong signal and ‘pyari Jodi sim’ is with her bro. Else she would have used it like all other girls in our hostel! And our friend took another sim for contacting her alone. Of course all 1 girl obsessed boys do the same. question is 'when she gonna betray'!! ! Holmes gave a sigh with satisfaction.
Till now Mycroft was sitting there without any comments and complete silence. but the statement betraying made him bit disturbed and annoying. He took sherlock's mobile and fed his new BSNL-secret-number and left the room!!

“So I’m supposed to call you brilliant?? Huh??” Watson is smiling now :) :)


“Nope… call me JERK!!

Sherlock Holmes left his room quickly… may be for some oxygen!!
signing off,
Dr.watson
221B Baker street
London.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

FB stupidity

• Facebook is a feminist site.




”A girl updating her status : “I miss my mom



Within one hour: 100 likes, 70 comments!



This will be the response:



Ooooohhhh….



Cho chweeeeeettttt….



Accept my friend requesttttttt :p :p



I got inspired from this and updated my status : “I miss my mom :P “



I waited for one minute.. no response… one hour… no way… after one day I got a comment for the status : “grow up kiduuu!!”



And the worst part:it s ma sister



• Facebook and robbery.



If you updated your status as ‘I’m gonna hangout with my friends’.. same night you can find a message:

"hey bro, your room got robbed."

But its not tough to catch the thief. Because the robber itself upload those robbing pictures and for his stupidity he might tagged me in his picture. Shocking climax is this. Me and robber got four mutual friends!



• Girl’s pic downloaders



This is another category.



Wheneva a girl upload a picture, next moment he download it into his PC. If I ask who is this girl,then starts the platonic love story!



“I poked her once..twing… she poked me back ..twing twing…



Then we chatted whole day whole night long.. We were in love long for long four years and all {she might seen this FB thing 2 days before}



I saw my best friend’s girl in his pc and I asked the same… then again same platonic love….



At last I asked him, how many EX GF you got???



He replied :“eeehh…around 3 GB in ma PC???”



• Break up girls



“You breakup with #####???” I asked a friend



“How you know that??” he got wondered.



“ The whole world knows buddy!! Check your wall… she told those three loving words : “ I dumped u!!’ “



And I saw so many likes for that post and most of them were his friends.



Last day a girl told me.. “I planned to dump him.. but I didn’t.. I got !”trouble with ma net connection



• Don’t forget your past



How many of you have facebook account??? Ohh!! How proud you are!! I GOT A FACEBOOOOK ACCOUNT!right?!! But for all FB users had a past which you forget without any regret.. isn’t it??? Is that fair.. no?? aree bhayaa.. “I’m speaking about



ORKUT!”



Thank you for reading this FB stupidity!!!



WITH REGARDS,



FBF

















Wednesday, August 8, 2012

BACK FIRING TRICKS

BEFORE FRIENDSHIP DAY

@2.00 am[ FB online]

me: eey entha aseem sirne padikka???mathiyeda research!!! :P
jasi: soap benda!! karyam para!!
me: aliya!! nammuke arjune oru pani kodukkam???
jasi:ok!
me: i will send the pic to edit!
jasi:ok!
me: i will find the malayalam font to use!
jasi:ok!
me:please find pics from goa trip?
jasi:ok!
will you do it in friendship day??
jasi:ok!
me: da !! njan parayunnathe kelkkunundo??
jasi:ok!
me: nee kulamakko??
jasi:ok!
me: eda #### paranjhitte urenghada!! pic kandoooo???

jasi: oooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!! 




FRIENDSHIP DAY i saw something nasty on my wall post!!!!!



THIS IS WHAT I POSTED IN HIS WALL:

me: Da!!!! dushtttaaaaaaa
pani kodukkanam enne paranjhapol,ettinte (8) pani enik thanne aavum kittuka ene vichaarichilla!!!
Ninte EEE love story ezhuthiyathine friendship day thanne enghane onnu expect cheythilla!!!
Belated friendship day wishes!!!  :P  :) :P


with regards,






Thursday, August 2, 2012

TYSON

                                                              
from left: Thej , Safir[tyson] and... da who is other guy??? dunno :P


Q.who is TYSON?
A. Safir N K
Q. Then who are you?
A. I'm Thejus!
Q. Why safir is tyson?
A. Hope you all watched film happy days?! Tyson is a chara's name.. But he
is someone like him in real life!.
Q. About Safir?
A. Born and brought up place:kannur.
    A BDS student.done his +2 from thrissur with me!
Q.so your facebook account is not your's completely!?
A. Nope! Its 50-50 share in terms of mind business.
Q.why don't you use safir then?
A. Possessiveness! No one else need to remember him or love him more than m=
ishael and me:)
Q. Will he accept this kinda blog and FB account?!
A.not a big deal for him..! We initiated TechJeeva without his permission!!
 But it was his dream and i made it true..i believe he will accept this too
!!:)
Q.so what's special for this blog post??
A. This is ma last post with the ID tyson!!
Q.'I love you tyson thej' who gonna reply for this.. U or safir??
A. Ofcourse safir!!if you see my loving chara,its cos f him:)